Time You Enjoy Wasting is Not Wasted Time

It's been a very long time since I last posted something on here. So much has happened in the two-plus years since I last wrote. I'm still living in the house that I started to have second thoughts about. I had 2 more kids, another beautiful girl in November, 2012, and a precious baby boy this past January. I am planning on returning to school in July and hope to possibly find a job, even if it's just part time, until then. Even though I'm home most of the time, being home with 3 kids (well 2, seeing as my oldest is in school every day...can't believe she's in school [even though it's only preschool] and almost finished her first year! Time surely flies with kids!!

Just Some Random Thoughts

Getting a shower soon.  Boyfriend will be done work and I need to be fresh and clean when I see him.  Never know when you're gonna get some so always gotta be prepared!

Drinking some coffee and smoking a cigarette.  Coffee is one of the best inventions ever.  Thank you to the Ethiopians who discovered it like thousands of years ago.

Cant believe it's September already.  This year has gone so fast. Two months until my favorite holiday, Halloween.  Less than three months until gobble day and less than 4 until Christmas. Yikes!

Wish I got paid to be at home.  Need to find a new job since apparently, my boss fired me without telling me.  Awesome.  Fucking prick.  I fucking hate lawyers.  He fucked me over bad.  After getting this job, I lost the cash assistance I got from welfare (which I didn't mind because I hate dealing with those fucks).  But he kept telling me that once September came, I would be on full-time.  So I dropped the classes I was registered for at school.  Now I have no job and it's too late for me to re-register.  So I have no money, no job, no school this semester, and can't get back onto cash assistance without going to some job-search thing that they will make me do.  Fucking cunt.

I got a little wild there. Now I gotta worry about how I'm going to support my two-year-old until I find a new job, which we all know are very hard to come by.  Can't get a job with a lawyer or even as a regular secretary because they all want 2-4 years experience or a bachelor's degree.  Don't wanna go back into the restaurant business because I actually want to see my daughter - don't feel like being at work until 2-3 AM, not getting to bed until 4 then having someone else raise my kid while I'm sleeping during the day.  I'll figure something out though.  I always do.

The Road to Success is Always Under Construction

I'm hungry and I have to pee but I'm too lazy to get up and go downstairs to go to the bathroom and to the kitchen.  Hell, who wants to walk back up two flights of stairs anyway?!  It's 2:30 AM and I'm still awake - nothing new.  I was pretty tired earlier but my daughter decided not to go to bed (again) and was up until almost 1.  Fun.  Every time I want to go to bed at a reasonable hour and every time I have to wake up early she does this.  I think she does it on purpose.  I have a therapy appointment at 10 then an ultrasound scheduled for 12 and after that, I have to go to CCIS to take care of my child care stuff.  Jimmy and I are taking the babes to the zoo afterwards, not that she deserves it after tonight.  Terrible Twos?  She hit those over a year ago, when she turned one.

I know it's only July (only?!) but the holidays are coming!  Eek!  At least I'll only be 7 months pregnant then and won't have to worry about buying gifts for another child until next year.  My mom told me my whole life that time flies as you get older.  I never believed her.  At least I started to get ahead.  Got my daughter, niece, and nephew each a cute little suitcase.  I got the girls Disney princess and my nephew Cars (it's actually shaped like a car!).  I put together a stocking stuffer list since that is so easy to do for everyone and it's always good to have some extras for those last-minute gifts that you forgot (or unexpected guests).  Start buying more stuff with my next pay...or maybe the one after since my next one is going to completely suck.

I wanna make some brownies.  But it's 2:35 in the morning so I think I'll pass on that.

Due date!  February 26.  It's so fucking far!  No alcohol for me on New Years.  Boo!  St. Paddy's Day, I'll really be looking forward to you!

I want some Cherry Coke but it's all gone.  Maybe I will take that trip downstairs.  The hunger passed but I'm fucking thirsty!!  Well, better go before I piss myself.

It's Me!

As I begin to type, it's almost 11:30 at night.  It's a beautiful night, weather-wise.  It's 71 degrees right now.  Today's high was like 80.  But a just a tease. Tomorrow, it's only going up to 60 and rain.  Fun.  The 50's and 60's are going to prevail a bit longer.  I just hope that it's out of Mother Nature's system by my birthday at the end of the month.

After I'm finished typing this and spending countless hours on the computer, I am going to make a cup of coffee and take a shower.  Gotta prepare for a long night.  I've procrastinated so much since spring break and I have a project due in my 11 AM education class that I haven't even started yet.  I'm gonna have a good night! Oh, and I have an outline due for a 4-7 page paper due Wednesday in anthropology that I just minimally started.  It's not like me!  I hate spring break.  I'll finish up with an associate's degree in December.  Where to go next?  Temple?  Holy Family?  My anthropology professor suggested that, with my GPA, I should consider going to Villanova.  Decisions, decisions.

A Thought Before Bed

No one knows me. Not really. I've discovered so much about myself the past 6 months or so, things I never even knew. It's so crazy to think that I am almost 26 years old and don't even know everything about my own self. If I don't even know my own soul, my own body, my own mind, how can anyone else say they know me? No one can. No one but God. I'm such a different person now than I was ten, five, two, even one year ago. I continue to grow and change every day and I love it.