How To Beat the Summer Heat

We are having our worst heatwave of the summer thus far in Philly.  This weekend, temperatures are expected to exceed 100 degrees.  I normally love the heat but this summer, I'm just not feeling it.  Maybe it's because I've been stuck in a cold office the whole season and haven't gotten to enjoy a single day in the sun (hence my pale ass white skin which is usually a nice bronze by this time of year).  Here's some tips on surviving through these desert-like conditions.  (This website also has some interesting ideas: Top Ten Ways To Beat the Summer Heat)

• Go swimming - or if you live here and are ghetto, turn the fire hydrant on.  Avoid public pools that are likely to be filled with a bunch of kids' piss.
• Enjoy some water ice - if you don't live in Philly, this sounds like a contradiction: water and ice?  Think if it as what other places call Italian ice, only real, freshly scooped Philly water ice is two hundred times better than those little frozen containers you buy at the supermarket
• Buy one of those spray bottles with the battery-operated fan (I could think of something better to use those batteries in though...)
• Walk around the mall - free air conditioner
• Sit under the air conditioner in your home.  Better yet, turn the AC on full blast and work up a sweat getting randy in bed
• Sit outside and work on your tan but keep your feet in a bucket of cold water.  Granted, in heat like this you will probably have to change the water every ten minutes or so or it may just boil up on you, turning your feet into boiled hot dogs
• Go to a museum - they can be fun (and I'm sure perverts like me could think of a way to make a museum trip even more fun!)

Stay cool everyone!  Add your own tips to avoid heat exhaustion like poor Doc Halladay did in the Phillies game in Chicago yesterday!